February 2012
don’t let it be clubbed into dank submission.
be on the watch.
there are ways out.
there is a light somewhere.
it may not be much light but
it beats the darkness.
be on the watch.
the gods will offer you chances.
know them.
take them.
you can’t beat death but
you can beat death in life, sometimes.
and the more often you learn to do it,
the more light there will be.
your life is your life.
know it while you have it.
you are marvelous
the gods wait to delight
in you.” —“The Laughing Heart”, Charles Bukowski (via fuckyeahbukowski)
I get many phonecalls now.
They are all alike.
“are you Charles Bukowski,
the writer?”
“yes,” I tell them.
and they tell me
that they understand my
writing,
and some of them are writers
or want to be writers
and they have dull and
horrible jobs
and they can’t face the room
the apartment
the walls
that night-
they want somebody to talk
to,
and they can’t believe
that I can’t help them
that I don’t know the words.
they can’t believe
that often now
I double up in my room
grab my gut
and say
“Jesus Jesus Jesus, not
again!”
they can’t believe
that the loveless people
the streets
the loneliness
the walls
are mine too,
and when I hang up the phone
they think I have held back my
secret.
I don’t write out of
knowledge.
when the phone rings
I too would like to hear words
that might ease
some of this.
that’s why my number’s
listed.
our lips raw with love
and how you gave me
everything you had
and how I
offered you what was left of
me,
and I will remember your small room
the feel of you
the light in the window
your records
your books
our morning coffee
our noons our nights
our bodies spilled together
sleeping
the tiny flowing currents
immediate and forever
your leg my leg
your arm my arm
your smile and the warmth
of you
who made me laugh
again.” —Charles Bukowski, Raw With Love (via fuckyeahbukowski)
225 days under grass
and you know more than I.
they have long taken your blood,
you are a dry stick in a basket.
is this how it works?
in this room
the hours of love
still make shadows.
when you left
you took almost
everything.
I kneel in the nights
before tigers
that will not let me be.
what you were
will not happen again.
the tigers have found me
and I do not care.
-Charles Bukowski
If I never see you again
I will always carry you
inside
outside
on my fingertips
and at brain edges
and in centers
centers
of what I am of
what remains